Reflections

Aaron and I got to spend this past weekend in Conroe with Michael. It was a great weekend, I will update you all about his progress, but I have been doing some reflecting this morning and want to share.

I have read two books in the past month about people who died, went to heaven, and were sent back. One was about a little boy "Heaven is for Real" and one about a grown man "90 Minutes in Heaven". Now, I know that some of you are rolling your eyes at this and thinking "Whatever, crazy talk." And that is ok. I believe it. I can tend to be the cynical type about certain things too, but these stories rang true to me and really, why would I choose to not believe? I am going to be (really) honest and tell you that there have been times over the last 9 months that I have wondered and asked God why He let Michael live. He has been through so much pain and his quality of life is so drastically changed, why did God send Brandon Hively into that apartment to rescue him? Brandon told me in the days after Michael got sick about that day. He felt a strong urge and almost a voice in his head saying "Get Michael out of there!" That is not an accident.

After spending some quality time with him, I am more than convinced that Michael is not done here. Maybe it is to provide inspiration to others, to cause his friends to reflect on their lives and love people better, maybe it is for our family to become closer. All of those things are true. I like to think it is because God has a miracle in store for Michael. Maybe not that he will magically wake up one day the old Michael Sluder, but that he will become someone different, stronger, more fully alive because of what he has experienced. Faith is a choice, and I choose to have faith in God to do something miraculous in Michael's life, and I choose to have faith in Michael's ability to overcome. Otherwise, he would be in heaven right now.

Ok, so here are some progress notes:
8 months ago, Michael's speech was almost pure gibberish. Today, he is speaking clearly 90% of the time. He can communicate his needs and wants, pour out affection on others, and have a full conversation.
8 months ago, Michael had lost a ridiculous amount of weight, had no idea what food was and wasn't, and had almost forgotten how to eat. Now he is putting away three square meals a day and they are having to limit him to that! He is healthy and strong physically.
2 months ago, Michael was violent, verbally abusive, and sexually inappropriate. His behavior is radically different today. He is loving, gentle, apologizing profusely for accidentally stepping on your toe. He is no longer inappropriate. (Although I am curious to see his reaction to some of his upcoming female visitors that are not his mom or sister.) I don't know if it is the medication change, the cytoxan, or just time to heal, but he is a pleasure to be around.
Michael knows Mom and Dad almost all the time and loves them SO much. He can identify Jordan and me in a picture.  He can put together complicated puzzles and do addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication in his head. He can read on about a second-grade level. He can write. He can make 3-point shot after 3-point shot. Get him started with "I said it's great... and he will finish "to be a Tennessee Vol!" I love that. Some things you do not forget.

Michael's short-term memory remains the greatest struggle and obstacle to coming home safely. We have to know that he will accept mom and dad as his parents, cooperate with them, and recognize that home is home. Pray for that.

I love my brother. I miss who he was, but I am grateful that he is still here with us and love who he is now too- sweet, smart, still handsome and still a fighter.  Just gotta keep the faith as we move forward.