Finallyyyy got tot see him :))   

Warning: this post is all over the place*!

I hadn’t seen Michael since January. I knew he’d come a long way since being in the Dallas hospital for several weeks; but he appears to be, at least physically, in worse condition than I or any of his friends saw him in January. 

His motor skills and coordination have been affected from the supposed reinfection/ relapse he experienced during/following  his 2 week stay at Vanderbilt. He has lost a lot of weight, and struggles more now with vocabulary than before. He sometimes has violent mood swings (could be partly caused by a certain medication he’s taking which may be adjusted soon)... He doesn’t speak much. Doesn’t look like himself...

HOWEVER,  I honestly feel more hopeful and encouraged about Michael’s recovery than ever before. 

This is why: 

Despite the severity of his symptoms (which improved even over the 4 days I was there) there is a newness in his eyes: more awareness, feeling, certainly more emotion...  

I believe he understands what is being said to him - no just the meaning of words, but the intent behind them. This felt new. 

If he chooses to respond, it’s after careful thought. He is deliberate in his delivery and, most of the time, gives a logical and relevant response. 

Another new development (to me) is his effort to recognize and verbalise his feelings. “I am happy” or “I am not sad” are phrases Loren and I heard a few times over the week. Oh, and when Loren or I would rub his shoulders, he let out a long “aaawwwweeessoommmeee”.! 

*While Loren was cutting Michael’s hair, Loren and I gave Michael a concert, bless his heart..  We sang some Johnny Cash and Dave Matthews, then eventually progressed to rapping...Michael was enjoying seeing us make fools of ourselves.  He said, “I am happy” a couple of times. When we started into the Fresh Prince theme song,  Michael rolled his eyes, laughed and shook his head. He let out a big sigh and looked down.  I saw a few tears streaming down his face.  

I said,  “Are those happy tears?”.  

He looked up, smiled, and said, “Yessssss”.   

:)

 

Also new:

*He is seems aware of social dynamics around him- responds negatively to tension in the room, or positively to people laughing or showing kindness to one another. He HATES it when people talk to him like he’s a child, which happens a lot right now. 

--This frustrates me. Michael is still Michael- intelligent and capable. He’s just sick right now..

Anyway, my last day in Dallas, Rosi and I had lunch with Michael at the rehab center.  A therapist came into the room to greet Michael. She was very sweet, but she spoke to him loudly and slowly, repeating each sentence twice. After she left the room, Michael rolled his eyes and gave me this look like “Is she serious?!”, then let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head. I joined his frustration, “I know!... You’re not seven... you just don’t talk very much right now.” 

He nodded yes, and patted my leg. 

Michael communicates well through facial expressions, hand gestures, body language. Plus his trademark mannerisms leave little to question. I think he often prefers to communicate nonverbally.

I want to mention that the aides and therapists at the rehab center LOOOVVEEE Sludog!  When I was there having lunch, they busted the door open blasting some club music, and started chanting “Go Michael! Go Michael!”  Out of nowhere!! Michael loved it. We all started chanting, Michael joined in. He was beaming, had the biggest smile on his face :))  I love that these are the people spending hours with him everyday.

Michael struggles with names still. He didn’t know my name last week, but I felt like he knew who I was more than ever before. He treated me exactly like he always does. -even being a little protective at times.  

When I told him I was leaving, he understood that he wouldn’t see again me for quite a while. He hugged me for a few minutes, tightly, eyes closed...  He was sad.  I was sad...  

He kissed me on the forehead and said, “miss you, call me”.   

Yes, I’m concerned about him always, but not as worried anymore. He’s in good hands there. The nurses and techs love him. Mike and Rosi are with him every single day. All infections are gone now, so it’s just healing from here. Granted, it may be a long and difficult roller coaster ahead, but I don’t hesitate to say I think the worst is over.

Dallas is good.

Up up here we gooo

LOVE

Maisie