So much love

I had to leave the Sluders’ few days ago.
How selfish of UGA to start classes while my friend is still sick?

This sucks. I miss him, miss his family. Mike and Rosi were kind
enough to let me move in for a couple of weeks over the break and help out. In the
beginning, we made attempts to establish roles and routines, but
quickly learned that our days depended on Michael’s. Each was
different. His moods, behaviors and interests changed hourly (one
moment he’s frenzied and enraged, and the next he’s sharing his food
and passing out free hugs). And since he requires company at all
times, Mike and Rosi (often both) are always with him. Michael,
understandably, does not like it. He takes most of his anger and
frustration out on his parents. But they see through his illness, and
respond with love and patience. Mike and Rosi help bathe and feed him,
administer his medication, make sure he is never in a room alone,
alternate sleeping times, etc..., and all without a second thought.
I’d sometimes think to myself, ‘How are they are going to keep this
up.. it’s an impossible job’.
I remember one night Mike was giving Michael his medication through
the IV (which is now out thank the Lord!). Michael started yelling and
cussing at his Dad, slapping his hand away. Mike responds with, “Hey
buddy, you know I love you.”
Mike and Rosi find the strength and patience somewhere. I think their love for
Michael is the only fuel left at this point, every other avenue has
been exhausted.

It was really incredible for me to see this attitude of total acceptance and aggressive optimism towards Michael’s
situation from the entire family. I felt it. They’ll do anything for
Michael, and will for as long as it takes. Loren, for example, has a family of her own. She’s
a wife and a mother of two (of, may I say, the sweetest and most
adorable little boys I have ever met) with a full time job; yet she
makes time to come over and hang out with Michael. She’ll bring dinner
for everyone, games for Michael and the boys to play- awesome games
(I beat Loren in connect four...). And when she can’t be with Michael,
she’s working behind the scenes for him: making phone calls, getting
favors (i.e. Doctors to see him sooner, rush his prescriptions..)
And Jordan, God bless him, had to go back to work and law school in
Nashville, but he drives to Gallatin several times a week after work
to see Michael. They have an unspoken language, those two. Jordan has
a way of getting through to Michael like no one else. Sometimes
they’ll both start laughing at the same time, I swear nothing funny
happened. I feel like they tell each other telepathic jokes or
something- it’s very cool, and, sorry guys, so precious.

As Loren said in her previous post, friends have been amazing!!!! I
love you guys so much. You are truly amazing people. I know Mike and
Rosi reeeeaaalllyy appreciate your visits and endless offers to lend a
hand.

I was fortunate to spend the past few weeks with Michael- witness his
sporadic, fleeting moments of seemingly complete awareness. And these
moments are becoming more frequent and less fleeting as the days go
on. His sentence structure and vocabulary substantially improved
during the days I spent there. And although word choice is still a
struggle, he doesn’t make up words as often as he used to.
Communication, overall, has improved.
I also began to see a consistent glimmer of recognition in his eyes
when I walked into the room. I don’t know the he always knew my name
(though he said it once), but he knew that he knew and, for the most
part, liked me.

I know from personal experience with a serious illness (nothing as
severe as Michael’s) that crisis pushes you and those who love you to
search wide, fast, and deep. It expands the heart and calls forth
reserves of courage you never knew you had. There is some mysterious
strength that arises within us in the face of catastrophy, a force
that allows us to prevail in the face of future challenges far beyond
our previous limits. Perhaps it’s soon to speak in this context. But a
certain quote keeps circulating in my head: “You either come out
golden, or don’t come out at all.”
Michael is coming out golden. His window for recovery is far from
closed. With the determination and collaboration of those who love him,
combined with his own stubborn nature, I don’t see that he has any
direction to go but up.

So much love
Maisie